


A Thirty Minutes Walk...

by MisterDay



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-22 11:10:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22215187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisterDay/pseuds/MisterDay
Summary: Jessica's umpteenth party. As usual, there were a lot of teenagers as well as a lot of beer and other kinds of alcohol. Clay tried to have fun but these kinds of parties were not his thing, so he left. Jeff wanted to be the perfect boyfriend and drive him home but Clay wanted to walk.It was just a thirty minutes walk...
Relationships: Jeff Atkins/Clay Jensen
Comments: 30
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are for my first fanfiction on 13 Reasons Why, I hope you'll like reading it.
> 
> I'll keep on writing on this fandom (mostly about this pairing which is my favourite one).
> 
> I do not own 13 Reasons Why or its characters.

"Glad to see you're having fun, Clay!" A rather annoyed Jessica complained.

Resting against a wall on the corner of the living room, arms crossed, Clay had been watching teenage boys and girls drink like fishes and claiming they were having fun. How could someone have fun when at the end of the night he or she's too drunk to remember their own name? Shaking his head in disbelief, he asked himself for the hundredth time why he let Jeff convinced him to come to this party. They could have had a great night, just the two of them eating homemade cooking and cuddling in front of a movie, but Jeff preferred seeing his friends and "have fun". Looking at Jessica, who seemed sober enough to scold him, Clay couldn't bring a smile on his face and pretend he was having fun. He didn't like her and her friends, if he was here it was for Jeff though he might have hurt his feelings just because he was in a bad mood.

"If you don't like my parties, just go! At least, Jeff knows how to have fun!" She said before sipping her half-empty bottle of whatever alcohol it was.

Clay looked at her in disbelief. Proud of herself for messing with his mind she sent him a disdainful look and went to join her friends who were playing truth or dare game.

What did she mean by "he knows how to have fun!"? Jeff was a respectful young man, more honest than any other guy in their school, but he was still young and not like Clay, he had actual friends here, he could be tempted to live the life its fullest...

In his back-pocket, his phone vibrated meaning he received a message. He took it out and was glad to see Tony's name written on the screen:

_T- How's the party going?_

The answer to that question came out quickly:

_C- I'd rather be sick at home!!!_

He knew he sounded a bit dramatic but Tony knew him better than anyone else and probably had predicted Clay wouldn't be having fun. That was the reason why Tony told him to go with Jeff, hoping his presence would reassure him and enable him to loosen up at least a little bit.

_T- Where's Jeff?_

_C- With his friends... I guess._

_T- He left you on your own? O.O_

_C- I told him to, didn't want to ruin his mood even more._

Tony didn't reply straight away, probably wondering what Clay's last message meant.

_T- What do you mean even more? What did you do?_

Clay sighed, of course, Tony knew it was he who did something but didn't want to get into the details so he stayed vague.

_C- Let's say I accidentally hurt his feelings and now I'm not feeling good._

_T- You miss your man that's all ;p Go talk to him (and don't forget to apologize!!)_

Clay smiled, Tony was right. In such an environment, he always felt vulnerable and Jeff's presence always helps.

_C- He's probably having fun with his friends, I shouldn't ruin his mood._

_T- Come on, Clay! You know you won't! And if you think so then at least try to have fun... Did you even try?_

_C- ..._

Deep down, Tony knew the answer to that question yet he hoped he was wrong.

_T- I gotta go, have a hot date tonight! We'll talk later, in the meantime..._

Clay smiled and played Tony's game by finishing his sentence as he wanted him to:

_C- Try to have fun! Got it! Have a great night ;)_

_T- You too ;)_

Clay put back his phone in his pocket, as soon as he put an end to his conversation with Tony he felt lonely and vulnerable again. Pushing himself off the wall he decided to wander around the house in the vain hope to run into Jeff. During his unofficial search, he wondered how such a small house could fit so many students in it? He skirted between the mass of people gathered in the living room and bumped into Sheri and Hannah who looked quite in a rush.

"Hey Helmet! What a party!" Hannah said with a goofy smile on her face.

Clay looked at her cautiously.

"Yeah right. Are you leaving?"

"Yes! It's great but it's getting late and my head starts spinning."

Judging by Clay's frown, Sheri added:

"I'm driving her back home, don't worry!"

She immediately regretted her remark when Clay looked at her with a stern expression on his face. She wanted to defend herself, saying she could drive but the look on his face was so insulting that she took Hannah's hand in hers and pushed past Clay before disappearing into the crowd. This party was getting worse with each passing minute. Tired of being cautious as not to bump into anyone, Clay forced his way to the kitchen and let out a sigh of relief when he finally reached the half-empty room. There were bottles everywhere and someone must have spilled some beer on the floor because the smell was persistent in the room. Disgusted by the smell, Clay headed outside needing the fresh, pure air. Behind him, the music was as loud as the yellings. Closing his eyes, Clay couldn't help but wonder why he accepted to come? He wasn't a party kind of guy everyone knew that and yet here he was.

His ear twitched when the door clicked open. At first, Clay thought it was someone about to leave the party but he highly doubted it. Then the person made his way towards him. Eyes shut, he almost prayed that it wasn't Jessica ordering him to go back home, he didn't want to, at least not without Jeff. He waited patiently until two strong arms wrapped themselves around his middle, bringing him closer to an all too familiar body. Sighing deeply, he relaxed into the embrace letting its warmth enveloped him before turning around and immediately seeking refugee in the crook of Jeff's neck. 

The athlete chuckled at his boyfriend, it was becoming a habit for him whenever he was feeling insecure and it was a feeling he was experiencing way too often, but Jeff happily obliged. For him, there was nothing more important than to know that Clay was feeling safe and protected. Echoing his thoughts, Clay inhaled Jeff's perfume and let out a sigh of relief. Wrapping instinctively his arms around his boyfriend's smaller body, Jeff's right hand came up to play with the hair at the base of Clay's neck while the other continued to caress his back.

Clay knew he should probably apologize as Tony told him to but he was torn between apologizing and not saying a thing and keep on enjoying the warmth of Jeff's body. Unfortunately for him, Jeff always seemed to know when he was overthinking. The young athlete pushed gently Clay off him and put a hand on his face.

"What's wrong?"

Clay expected his voice to show some sign of annoyance, but instead, he only heard his boyfriend's concerns.

"I want to go home."

He hoped he didn't sound that lame but Jeff nodded, not even surprised.

"Let me get the car and I'll drive you home."

Eyes wide open, Clay grabbed Jeff's hand before he got the chance to go back inside.

"No!"

Taken aback by Clay's outburst, Jeff gave his hand a small squeeze.

"What do you mean no? Babe, what's wrong?"

This was gonna be the hardest part for Clay, he knew it was gonna sound strange but he had a hunch all day telling him that something was gonna happen. Anything could go wrong but the idea of letting Jeff take him home after a party may not seem the best one.

"Thirty minutes." Clay simply said.

Jeff looked baffled at that. "What?"

"My house is just thirty minutes away, walking distance. I know yours isn't but it's ok you can sleep at my house, my parents love you they won't mind."

Closing his eyes for a second, Jeff resisted the urge to sighed deeply.

"Clay, we're not gonna have that conversation again." 

"And I don't want to either, but I don't think it's safe for you to drive me back home."

"I'm not drunk Clay!!!"

Jeff's outburst made Clay jump and take a step back from him. He immediately regretted having yelled and tried to reach out to Clay but the young man took another step back, arms tightly crossed over his chest, he was looking away from Jeff who tried to regain control of his voice and emotions.

"I'm sorry, just wait for a minute, I'll grab my keys and if it helps I promise I'll drive slowly."

Judging by Clay's frown, Jeff knew he said something he shouldn't have.

"You don't understand, don't you?"

Sighing deeply, Clay started walking away.

Jeff's heart constricted in his chest not knowing what to do, he was paralyzed. Up until now, he didn't understand what Clay was talking about. He stupidly thought his boyfriend was just worried he might want to drink his ass off like any other teenagers at the party and he must admit that it hurt to think that Clay didn't trust him, but now that he left, Jeff shared his boyfriend's hunch too: something was gonna happen!

That thought came out of nowhere and it almost sounded stupid, but at the same time, this thought occurred right after Clay's departure, maybe he was just worried and a bit overprotective. Looking back and forth between the empty streets and Jessica's house, Jeff found himself unable to move for a few seconds before deciding to go against his boyfriend's judgement and walked inside the house, took his keys and headed back for the door.

"Jeff!" A voice stopped him. "Where are you going? The party only just started!"

Turning around, Jeff tried to put a smile on his face but it was hard considering Bryce Walker wanted to keep him here.

"I just got into a fight with Clay, I need to make sure he got home ok."

"Man, if you two got into a fight let him cool down and stay here. You'll talk tomorrow."

Jeff shakes his head.

"I can't! Sorry!"

He didn't wait for Bryce's reply and headed for his car. He followed the street Clay must've taken, hesitating here and there when he had to turn left or right. His nervousness made him forgot the way to Clay's home. Fortunately, he found him within a few minutes and realized Clay really walked fast, or maybe it was him who wasn't used to walk. He slowed down and rolled next to the rather angered teen.

"Clay! Please, I know you're mad but at least let me take you home." He pleaded.

But Clay wasn't listening, he kept on walking.

Jeff called his name a few more times before giving up and accelerating just a bit so he could park the car in front of Clay. Climbing out, he approached him but the young man put his arms around himself again as a defence mechanism. Seeing Clay wanting to protect himself from him hurt but he kept his distance with him for now.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I guess I was just hurt that you didn't trust me."

Clay scoffed.

"Can you blame me? It's difficult not to have doubts with friends like yours."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jeff sighed deeply. "Clay, please! Not again!"

"It's true! Look, I trust you..."

"Oh yeah?! I find that hard to believe!"

With a new step back from Clay, Jeff knew he went too far again.

"Clay..."

"Just take me home already!" Muttered Clay as he walked past him, arms still crossed and tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

They climbed up silently in the car and Jeff started it up. They stayed silent for a few moments until Jeff felt the need to speak.

"I'm not drunk Clay." 

Neither of them knew if he was saying this more to himself or if it was meant for Clay.

"I never said you were." He replied still looking out the window.

"But that's what you implied..."

"Jeff," Clay called out.

"No, hear me out!"

"Jeff!" Clay repeated more firmly.

"You're allowed not to trust Bryce and the others but..."

"Look out!"

But it was too late, Jeff saw the car too late to react...

_**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** _

Head spinning and ears whistling, Jeff got out of his car. His vision was blurry and night so dark. Putting his hands before him, Jeff blunders his way to the front of the car. After a few seconds, he could see a bit better. As he acknowledges what just happened a thought wandered through his head.

_Clay!_

The other car was still stuck in theirs. He climbed back up and looked at Clay. There was blood everywhere and he was unconscious. Pulling out his phone he dialled 911 while going to check on the persons in the other car.

"911 what's your emergency?"

Now that he had to speak, he didn't know where to start. His lungs hurt and his head was still spinning.

"I'm Jeff Atkins, my boyfriend and I just had an accident."

"What kind of accident?" She asked while tapping on her computer.

"A car crashed into ours."

"Where are you, Jeff?"

The young man looked everywhere, realizing he didn't know where he was, but the night was too dark and there was no sign to tell him on which road he was. Panic started overwhelming him making it hard to breathe.

"I don't know!"

"It's alright Jeff! I'll track your phone, just hold the line."

In the other car, there were two old people, they looked unconscious but still breathing. But what about Clay?

"Jeff, are you still there?"

"I need to check on my boyfriend. His face is full of blood."

"He is still breathing?"

Jeff put a hand on his throat and nodded.

"I think so. Should I get him out of the car?"

"No Jeff, don't! We don't know the extent of his wounds, let him in the car. Look, I sent you some help, they will be there in a few..."

Jeff tried to stay focus but it was getting harder with each passing seconds. His head felt heavier and the sound of the operator's voice started to be muffled by the whistling in his ears. He wanted to hold on but was too weak. His phone dropped on the ground and he followed right after.

_**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** _

When Jeff woke up, he recognized the white walls of the hospital. The images of the car crash flooded through his mind. He got up hastily from the bed. His head suddenly started to spin as he held out his hands to keep himself steady, but he managed to find his way towards the corridor. 

When she saw him standing and looking lost, Lainie got up from her chair and hugged the young man.

"Great you're awake."

Startled by the woman, Jeff hesitated before hugging her back.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

Jeff gently pushed her in front of him.

"Where's Clay?"

"He's still in the operating room, the doctors are doing their best to save him."

Jaw clenched, Jeff tried to fight the tears that slowly started to form. He looked around and sat on the first chair he saw. Lainie and Matt sat on each side of him.

"You can go home if you want, take a shower, eat, have some rest and come back when you'll feel better." Clay's mother said.

But Jeff shook his head, wanted to say something but was too afraid to break down crying if he opened his mouth. His parents arrived a few minutes after, having been called by the Jensens. When she saw her son's body language, Mrs. Atkins decided to take Clay's parents to the cafeteria and give Jeff some space. They all silently agreed and went down.

As soon as he was alone, Jeff put his head in his hands but refused to sob. He had to be strong for Clay like he always were.

A hand landed on his shoulder, looking up, he was relieved to see Tony. Clay's mom must've called him to let him know what happened.

"You ok?"

Tony was a good guy, but he was worried about the wrong person. Getting up, he accepted the hug Tony was silently offering. This simple gesture was comforting enough to give Jeff some strength. When they finally broke apart, they sat on the chairs.

"What did the doctors said?"

"Nothing! They're still operating him."

Patting his leg, Tony murmured reassuring words but Jeff wasn't listening anymore, too focused on Clay. A part of him blamed himself for what happened, he was the reason why they were here and it all started the moment he accepted to go to Jessica's party and offered to bring Clay along. Jessica wasn't a big fan of him in general but it was worse when it came to parties because Clay doesn't like them too and they felt it. She called him a mood killer more than once and even if he knew his boyfriend wouldn't be happy there, Jeff still insisted to bring him along and why? Because he couldn't stand the thought of Clay being unhappy on his own. The minute they stepped foot in Jessica's house, Clay noted right away the drunk teens and the excessive amount of beers in the house and the fact that Jeff helped carry some more kegs of beer didn't help. They started fighting, Clay arguing that he brought them in his car and it wasn't a good idea to stay at such a party. To say Jeff had been hurt by this comment would be an understatement and he left Clay alone to have fun with his friends. Everything went down from here...

Clay and Jeff's parents came back and sat with the two boys.

"Thirty minutes." Jeff mumbled under his breath.

All eyes turned to him, wondering what he was saying.

"What?" His mother asked.

"Clay told me we could walk back home, it was just a thirty minutes walk... I should've listened to him." Unable to stop the tears from falling, Jeff put his head in his hands.

"Hey! No, no, no!!! Stop that!" Matt said, kneeling in front of Jeff before taking his hands off his face. "It was an accident, Jeff! It's not your fault!"

"It is! Clay and I had a fight and he didn't want me to drive him home but I didn't listen, and look where we are now!"

Matt sighed. "You boys fought," he stated. "So what? Do you think Lainie and I never fought? Do you think your parents never fought? It happens."

"I was driving!" Jeff almost yelled, his face wet from the tears. "I should've focused on the road but I wasn't!"

"Jeff, listen to me! When we were downstairs, we heard some policemen talking to a nurse, saying they got a call from a driver who accidentally knocked the stop sign with her car."

Jeff and Tony's eyes widen, starting to understand what Matt was saying.

"Yes, you could've been more focused on the road but without the stop sign to slow down the other car before the intersection..."

"Neither of us could've stopped our car before it was too late."

"Exactly!"

Jeff started to understand and to accept the circumstances of the accident, but a question suddenly popped in his mind. "But if she warned the police about the stop sign, why didn't they react sooner?"

"Because the person who knocked it down warned them too late."

Jeff got up, unable to stay still much longer. Why someone would wait so long to warn the police about something so dangerous? Maybe she thought she would get into trouble for having knocked the stop sign? Even so, she's part of the reason why they were here now and he hated her for that. But if he was honest, he should hate himself too, because despite what Matt said to him he could've listened to Clay. 

Thirty minutes! Is that so long after all? Thirty minutes of walking hand in hand with Clay, going at a slow pace so it could last longer. Thirty minutes in their quiet neighbourhood, listening to Clay's voice and laugh as he rambled on and on about whatever new thing he learned during the day. It was just thirty fucking minutes!!!

The hours passed and no one came to inform them. Sitting on the uncomfortable chairs, Matt caressed absentmindedly Lainie's head who rested on his lap with her eyes closed yet unable to sleep. Jeff's parents were pacing nervously in the corridors while Jeff and Tony had their eyes focused on the door leading to the operating room.

At 3 am, a young doctor pushed the door open, making everyone stand up almost immediately. Surprised by the abruptness of their reaction, the young doctor stuttered. "Family of Clay Jensen?"

"How is he?" Jeff asked before the others.

The doctor smiled shyly. "Clay has two broken ribs and a concussion but we took care of everything and stabilized him. He's been moved to a room where he'll go under observation for a few days. I can allow you to see him, but only one person at a time."

Jeff turned towards his family and they all nodded, knowing fully that he wasn't going to leave anyway.

"Follow me!"

Jeff followed the doctor in a corridor leading to a room where his boyfriend laid unconscious, his head wrapped up in bandages.

_He's stable! He's stable! He's stable!_

He kept repeating it in his head, scared that if he didn't convince himself it might be wrong. Raising his right hand, he carefully caressed Clay's cheek before leaning in to kiss his temple.

"Please, forgive me!" He murmured lamely.

Climbing up on his bed, Jeff put his ear on his chest. He was still so scared of losing him that he needed to hear his heartbeats, letting its slow and steady pace lull him to sleep.

_**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to share these posts that the author OnTheGround2012 found on tumblr. Like he said, it's worth sharing.
> 
> Golden Rules for Fanfiction Readers!
> 
> If the fic already has a thousand comments, comment still. Your comment matter and delight the author.  
> If a fic is a decade old and the author hasn’t been active in the last five years, comment sill. There will come a time when the author will read and cherish your comment, or maybe it will motivate them enough to start writing again. You never know!  
> If the author never responds to comments, comment still. Interaction with the author is a very nice bonus, but you can be sure that even if the author doesn’t answer, they will read it and enjoy it at some point.  
> There’s no such thing as a too-long comment.  
> There’s no such thing as a too incoherent comment.  
> The author will give no flying fuck about any grammatical errors, typo or other misspellings. If you’re a non-native speaker struggling to express themselves, you can be sure the author will be all the more pleased that you surmounted the language barrier to let them know you appreciated their work. Don’t be afraid!  
> There’s no such thing as commenting too often.  
> You will never, ever come across as creepy by obsessing over a fic or an author to the point where you worry the author might think you’re a stalker. On the contrary, the author will be delighted by your investment in their work.  
> Say thank you. It’s always appreciated to see readers acknowledge the work and commitment that is put into writing.  
> The floaty review box (ao3 add-on) is your friend.  
> Be positive and encouraging. Positive reviews make writers all warm and glowy from the inside, bashing plunges their soul into icy darkness. You want the first, not the second!  
> Whoever you are, if you read their fic, You are IMPORTANT to the author. Let them know you’re there!
> 
> How to comment/praise writers and influence fics
> 
> So, that’s all good, but what do you actually say to writers? It doesn’t have to be much or take a lot of time.
> 
> A simple “This is great/funny/hot!” is wonderful. “Best fic I’ve read this week!” “Funny as hell and cute too.” “You have to read this, it’s awesome!” “I can’t wait for more of this.” “I hope you keep going!” These are great in reblogs and in messages.
> 
> Even better is specific feedback. We love specific feedback, because it tells us what readers liked and what they didn’t. Want to influence our next fic? Tell us what you liked about this one and I bet you it will keep showing up! Specific feedback is just telling the writer what you liked. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated, either. (But if you write a lot, we will love you so much.)
> 
> Was there a character you liked? Talk about them: “I love how you wrote X” “Y was so funny!” “OMG I wanted to STRANGLE Q!” “You can really feel X’s frustration.” “Y has so much depth, they’re a really well-rounded character.” “R says so much with so few words, it’s amazing.”
> 
> What about a part or line you enjoyed? “That bit in the park- LOVE IT.” “I have never read a better description of a cup of tea.” “The way you wrote about his fear, that was heartbreaking.”
> 
> Was there a part that made you feel something? Happy, sad, angry? “That last sentence killed me, he’s so broken.” “I wanted to jump around when they finally kissed!” “This chapter was so tense, my heart was pounding by the end.”
> 
> Did the characters or plot or setting remind you of your life? “I live in Brussels, that’s just how that street looks.” “When Y talked about R, I knew exactly how he felt.” “You captured that lost, aimless feeling perfectly; I’ve so been there.”
> 
> Are there unanswered questions? Mention how much you want the answers. “I can’t wait to find out what’s in the basket!” “That was a cliffhanger ending, wow.” “How is she going to explain THAT?” (some writers are touchy about predicting, though, so stay away from “I bet he’ll throw that letter out.” or “X is clearly coming back.”)
> 
> A few closing notes: be enthusiastic if that’s your style, go crazy with exclamation marks, smileys, caps! Tell a writer if you’re rereading their work- very little makes us happier than knowing our writing has the staying power for a second, third, sixth, tenth read. Did a reread give you a new insight or feeling about the fic? Tell us! We will be so excited to hear. And remember, recommendations are wonderful- putting up a random post tagging your favorite writers or fics you’re enjoying will show the writers that they’re writing is more than a flash in the open and they’ll get some new readers too!
> 
> We can’t do this writing thing without you guys. So thank you so much! Without readers, we’re just talking to ourselves. We love and appreciate you for reading- but we need to know you’re doing it. We need feedback like we need air. Don’t let your favorite writers suffocate! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I'm back!!!
> 
> Thank you all for commenting, you really touched my heart with your kind words. I also need to apologize for not having published this second chapter sooner, I had a three weeks training to become an airport support agent for people with reduced mobility and just finished it last Friday. It took a lot of time and energy away from me, but here I am now with my second chapter.
> 
> Hope you will love it :)

_Lying gracefully on the bed, Jeff awoke to the slight shift of a warm body pressed against his. With a small smile, he wrapped his arm around its middle and pulled it against him. The movement made the other unconsciously scoot closer to the source of heat. Their naked body, covered by the sheets, making one. This connection elicited a moan from Jeff who couldn't help but graze his lips softly against the tender skin of the other teenager, eager to wake him up._

_"I know what you are doing." The other said groggily._

_Jeff's shy smile turned into a playful one. "I'm not doing anything."_

_With a barely audible giggle, Clay turned around and hid his face in the crook of Jeff's neck, his favourite place in the world as he liked to say. Aware of what he was looking for, Jeff entrapped his boyfriend in his arms, almost climbing on top of him. In this position, Clay was feeling safer, but something in the whole situation felt wrong. As if he heard Jeff's inner's question, Clay murmured._

_"It's just a dream."_

_Out of instinct, Jeff tightened his hold on Clay, scared to let him go. But as he did that, he felt a hot liquid sliding down from Clay's temple to his. Lifting his head back, Jeff's eyes widened: blood!_

**_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_ **

Jumping out in his chair with a loud cry, Jeff emerged from his nightmare. He looked everywhere around him and wasn't pleased to recognize the oppressing white walls of Clay's hospital room. His boyfriend was still lying unconscious on his bed. A quick check of his watch taught him it was 8 am and there was still no improvement. The doctors said he would wake up soon, but that wasn't soon enough for Jeff's poor nerves. At least, he was grateful for the nurses to have let him sleep in Clay's room.

Eyes still fixated on the clock, Jeff couldn't even remember for how long they've been here, time seemed to pass so slowly it started to mess with the teenager's head. Tony told him to go home, get some sleep, eat a little and take a shower before coming back, asking him what will Clay say or think when he'll be the first thing to see and smell. But even Tony's joke wasn't enough to lift Jeff's sourly mood. He knew it wasn't gonna make Clay wake up faster, he was just incapable of doing anything else than sitting by his side until he can get to look at his beautiful blue orbs.

By now, everyone at school knew about the accident. Jeff had received hundreds of messages from people he didn't even know, sending all their hopes and love for the young couple. Knowing fully well he wasn't gonna fall asleep again, at least not right away, he decided to go through all the messages. When he finally erased the texts sent from unknown persons, he checked carefully the ones sent by his friends or classmates he knew. He kept them all because there was something about them that bothered him, though he couldn't place his finger on it.

"Knock, knock!" A low voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

Turning his head to the left, he spotted Bryce. Curious as to why he was there, Jeff got up from his chair and lead him to the corridors.

"Bryce! What are you doing here?"

"What? Can't I be a good friend and check on my friend?"

Jeff narrowed his eyes, he desperately wanted to filter his thoughts but was too tired to do so. "Honestly Bryce, among my friends you're the last one I expected or wanted to see."

"Look, man, I know you're worried…"

"No, you don't!" Jeff interrupted him. "You weren't in that car. You don't know how I feel."

"I do know you are worried about your man."

Raising an eyebrow, Jeff crossed his arms over his chest. "My man? It isn't the queer anymore? Or the faggot? It's surprising how an accident can trigger empathy in the most narrow-minded bigot."

Closing his eyes, Bryce sighed as if to calm his growing annoyance. "You went through something terrible, and I came here to tell you we all are here to support you."

"We?"

"The whole school, the baseball team, your friends and even Clay's friends, though you know I don't like them. But I convinced everyone to send a little message."

"So it is you I should thank for convincing perfect strangers to send me messages I don't give a damn about."

"I thought you would like it."

Jeff scoffed.

"You think I am in the mood to handle strangers' pity. I can't even handle my own friends' pity."

For a brief moment, he thought he saw understatement in Bryce's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I know it's hard for you to believe me and I can't blame you, I know my reputation, but I can't be a dick all the time. Look, I know you would like to stay alone, but I should warn you that there are people out there who care you and will drop by after school."

Bryce didn't let Jeff the time to process and manage to say no, he turned around and left.

"Bryce!"

The teenager turned around, a quizzical look on his face.

"You asked everyone to send me a message? Even to Clay's friends?"

"I did, why?"

"Nothing, I was just surprised."

For the first time since he knew Bryce, he saw a sincere smile spreading his lips.

"As I said, can't be a dick all the time, can I?"

"Yeah, right." The athlete muttered to himself.

The next few hours, nothing new happened, Clay was as still as a stone statue. Some of his teammates had decided to drop by to show them their support. Being an openly gay baseball player hasn't been easy for them to accept, yet Jeff didn't allow them to judge him, saying they were not friends, they were just high school teammates, that was all! The fact that Jeff considered them just like teammates hurt them but the truthfulness of his words made sense in their single-digit I.Q selves. They were baseball players and Jeff was the best one among them. So, as long as it didn't affect his capacities, why should they judge him?

When they heard of the accident, they instinctively inquired on both of them. Jeff would have appreciated that if their instinct hadn't kicked in right after a possibly mortal accident. It seems like you need a terrible accident to make such narrow-minded people forget about their bigotry. They didn't stay long though, just the time to check on them, say what they thought was kind words like, "hope you're gonna feel better soon, we need you for the next game.", and then left.

"Sorry, bro! They're just stupid, not insensitive." Zach said apologetically.

Jeff looked at him with a dazzled expression. Zach has always been a cool guy, definitely not prompt at judging him, but then again, it might be because his friend was seeing him as just a baseball player, nothing more, nothing less.

"Thanks." Was all he could manage to say.

"I'm glad you're alright, you two gave us quite a scare."

"Thanks."

It wasn't much, but that was all Jeff was capable of coming up with. His mind was too focused on Clay and why he hadn't woken up yet. But just when Zach was about to leave, everyone popped in and started making so much noise. They brought him food and pity and that was too much for him. He tried to keep a cool face but his attitude must have shown off how annoyed he was because they stopped rambling. But instead of leaving, they started talking to each other, ignoring Jeff completely. Jeff's first thought was to ask them to talk outside the hospital, but then they started talking about the party and who could have provoked the accident. Needless to say, this talk brought back bad memories for Jeff. Arms tightly crossed around his chest, he tried to suppress the pain that seemed to crush his heart.

Taking a few steps back, he tried to ignore their loud conversation, until something ticked in his mind. Taking his phone, he started making a list. The more they talked, the shorter his list was becoming. Taking one last look at the crowd opposite to Clay's room, he erased one last name on his list.

Jessica and her friends left before it was too dark outside. They offered to give Jeff a ride back home but the teenager refused to leave. Before heading out, they all gave him such pitiful looks it made him want to vomit. He quietly made his way back to Clay's room, watching intently the list he managed to reduce on his phone. His left leg kept bouncing up and down rapidly, unable to stop the movement. His mind was a whirlwind of negative emotions threatening to explode. He was so scared to lose his temper in this room he decided to get some fresh air.

_**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** _

Pacing back and forth in front of the hospital, Hannah was trying to find the courage to enter, but in vain. Guilt has brought her here and now she regretted it. So many things were going down lately, at school, at home and now she was responsible for a probably deadly accident. Yes, she knew her classmates said Clay was fine yet he didn't wake up yet. She could go back home, wait until he wakes up and they could act like she had nothing to do with the accident. No, she couldn't. She felt so guilty right now that she knew she wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes ever again if she doesn't apologize at least a hundred times, starting now, when he was still in the coma.

With a deep, shuddering breath, she entered the hospital and started looking for Clay's room. Some kind nurses gladly pointed out his room to her happy to see that the teenager had so many people who cared about him. After thanking them faintly she headed to the end of the corridor, where her friend's room was. She tried with every fibre in her body not to turn around, sensing the gaze of all the nurses on her back. What would they think if she ran away? But most importantly, why did it matter to her what these women would think of her? It wasn't like she didn't know what kind of monster she already was.

Despite the white walls, the lights in Clay's room were dimmed, maybe so he wouldn't be blinded by the light in case he woke up. Unfortunately for her, the dim light made it still possible for her to make out Clay's bruised face and the bandages wrapped around his head. She felt so sick it made her want to vomit. Pressing her hand against her mouth, she tried hard not to cry out loud, though she couldn't stop her whole body to tremble. It took her an inhuman effort to step closer, to put her hand on his covered foot and muttered a pathetic apology before she's had enough and left the room.

She hadn't taken two steps outside that a voice stopped her.

"Leaving already, Hannah?"

The young woman froze when she recognized his voice. How she hoped she was wrong. Turning slowly, she spotted him, leaning against the wall. He might have arrived just after she entered the room.

"Jeff! I wanted to see how Clay was doing."

"And apologize to him apparently, which I don't understand why." His voice was low and calm but there was something dangerous in it Hannah couldn't put her finger on.

"Yes, I'm sorry for what happened to you two. I mean, isn't it what everyone came to tell you all day?" She laughed nervously.

Not moving from his spot against the wall, Jeff looked at her intently. "They did come, but instead of apologizing they just wanted to let me know they supported us. You're the only one who apologized."

Sensing the situation was getting out of control, Hannah took a step back and quickly turned around, but Jeff stopped her again with just one sentence.

"I'm surprised Sheri isn't here."

This time, when Jeff mentioned her name, she couldn't fight back the tears anymore, guilt taking over her. She turned towards him and instead of apologizing asked how he discovered it was her?

"Everyone sent messages to us, everyone except the both of you. It didn't surprise me coming from Sheri, but you are Clay's friend. And then, you finally came and you apologized."

"I'm so sorry." She apologized once again, hands on her stomach feeling physically ill.

"He's okay, Hannah. We're okay. You know, I resented you all day, almost wishing the worst for you for having put my boyfriend through such a dangerous accident, but then I thought, what don't I hate myself for the things I put him through that day? The reason is simple, I could spend my entire life hating myself and others for the hurt we caused to Clay, but that's not gonna make him feel better."

Tired of leaning nonchalantly against the wall, he took careful steps towards her.

"I know you feel bad about what happened and you can be, you are responsible. But beating yourself up over and over won't change anything, that's a lesson I learned from Clay, no matter how bad you acted you must take responsibility for your behaviour. It's a hard thing to do, but it's worth it."

"I don't know what to do."

"I think you should talk to Clay and tell him the truth, preferably once he'll wake up. You can wait in with me if you want. I know I stink but it's tolerable."

Despite his resentment, he rejoiced at the sight of her smiling.

_**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** _

They waited silently in his room all night, each one on a side of the room, avoiding making eye contact. The only sound in the room was the beeping of the machine and the muffled sound coming from the corridor. Eventually, Hannah fell asleep in the uncomfortable hospital chair. Jeff wanted to stay awake and be the first thing Clay saw when he'll wake up, but he was exhausted and fight back fatigue was pointless. Dropping his head onto Clay's bed, he slowly allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

When he emerged again, he didn't have to open his eyes to feel the sun hitting his face. It felt nice, so did the hand caressing his hair...

A hand? No, it couldn't be... Slowly opening his eyes, he was met by these ocean blue orbs he loved so much.

"Good morning, Sleepyhead."

Lifting his head from the bed, Jeff looked intently at the young man's face. As if he knew what Jeff was thinking Clay reassured him saying he wasn't dreaming. But his boyfriend still couldn't believe his eyes. Overcome with happiness, Jeff climbed on the bed and hugged his boyfriend tight. When he heard Clay wincing he stepped back abruptly and apologized.

"It's ok, it's just... You stink."

Eyes closed, Jeff fought back a hysterical laugh. "Alright, I can take a hint." He stopped just to kiss his cheek. "I'll go back home to take a shower and tell your parents you're awake."

Before leaving, he kissed his forehead delicately and closed the door behind him.

Hannah, who has been watching the two felt suddenly trapped in a lion cage.

"I can hear you thinking from here, you know."

Startled by his voice, she jumped in her chair. "Hi!"

Turning his head towards her, he smiled. "I'm surprised to see you here."

Getting up from the chair, she took Jeff's seat and decided it was time to take responsibility for her behaviour. "There is something I needed to tell you, and it's the hardest thing I've ever said to someone."

"If you're here to tell me you love me you'll be disappointed."

Clay laughed at his own joke but ended up coughing from the pain in his chest.

"No! It's not that, it's worse."

×"Oh, no! Don't tell me you're in love with Bryce."

"Clay!"

Holding his hands up, he put on an innocent face. "Just checking."

Hannah's hesitance made the silence feel heavier.

"I'm the one who caused the accident!"

"What?" Clay's almost happy face fell.

"Sheri drove me home but on our way, we hit the stop sign. I wanted to call the cops, tell someone, but Sheri didn't want to. She left me on the side of the road and it took me a few minutes before I called to let them know about the accident."

Despite Clay's visible peaceful face, Hannah could see his teeth clenched. "You did the right thing at least, I wish Sheri had the same wit though."

"I'm so sorry Clay!"

The young man didn't answer right away, he stared at the fixed point in front of him and avoided her gaze. "I forgive you. Leave me alone now."

"Clay, please!"

"I heard you, Hannah! You caused the accident, you're sorry, I forgive you. Now I want to stay alone."

With tears in her eyes, Hannah stood up and went for the door.

"I'm sincere, Hannah. I forgive you. We cannot change the past, but now you know what you can do to prevent these things from happening."

Nodding faintly, she opened the door and left the hospital, letting the nurses go and check on their patient.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go for the last chapter, shorter than the others (sorry) but, I hope, as good as them.
> 
> Hope you'll like it.

Bouncing his right leg up and down nervously, Jeff looked at the clock hanging on the wall behind his teacher's head. Five more minutes to go! Since he woke up this morning he's been worked up because Clay was supposed to get out of the hospital today. Jeff begged his parents and his boyfriend to allow him to skip school so he could go home with him but they refused, arguing that school was important. They accepted to make a comprise though, if Jeff agreed to go to school they would wait for him to discharge Clay. It seemed pretty fair for the teen, though it was harder than he expected. The whole day, he's been watching the clock moving too slowly to the point where he surprised himself counting down the seconds till he would see his boyfriend again.

_120 seconds to go!_

The excitement of this reunion had often been clouded by Jeff's fear. Indeed, since Clay woke up, they avoided talking about Jessica's party and what led them to the hospital. The relief of seeing his lover's beautiful blue eyes again had been so intense Jeff had decided it was better not to talk about it for a while. But he was slowly starting to regret it. After a small talk with his parents and Clay's parents, Jeff realized that in a relationship, fights are inevitable and necessary. They added that couples who overcome those obstacles could only grow stronger. Jeff often thought back about that night and how he did his best to avoid a little argument with Clay.

The bell rang! Jeff jumped out of his seat, almost tripping on his shoelaces and headed for the door.

_**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** _

Slowly emerging from his slumber, Clay stretched out like a cat in his bed before opening his eyes. Despite the neon lights, he easily adjusted to the brightness of the room. Glancing at the window, he tried to gauge what time it was, judging by the position of the sun in the sky, only to discover he was terrible at that exercise. His room was now empty, his parents were preparing his room at home and his doctors had discharged him. He was now waiting for his knight in shining armour to take him home.

A soft knock on the door broke him out of his reverie.

"Come in."

Pushing the door gently, Jeff's head stuck out of the door and a wide smile spread his lips. "Hey, sleepyhead!"

Instinctively, Clay extended his arms, a silent invitation to hold him in his arms and Jeff was never one to refuse. He closed the door behind him, sat on the bed and hugged his boyfriend, letting Clay nestle his head in the crook of his neck. Inhaling deeply, the injured boy let the musky scent makes his heart flutter.

"You're ready to leave?" Jeff's voice vibrated.

Instead of answering, Clay nodded, too happy to finally get out of this hospital.

Smiling at his boyfriend's eagerness, Jeff took his hand and led him out of the hospital, carrying his bag and holding doors for him.

The nurses watched the young couples and grinned at Jeff's chivalry, a quality that too many teenagers were lacking these days. During Clay's short time unconscious, Jeff never left his side, and, despite his anxiety and fear of losing him, never insulted the medical staff like some patients' relatives did. He's always been polite and let them do their job. Now that Clay was awake, they could get a better view of what kind of man Jeff was, and they were pleased by what they saw. All you had to do was to look in his eyes to see all the love he had for his boyfriend. Rare were those who watched their other half like this.

On the parking lot, Jeff quickly made his way first to the car and opened the door for Clay, making the young man's cheeks to turn pink. "Such a gentleman!"

Before he could get in the car, Jeff put his hands around his waist, tugging him closer. Bending his head so their nose brushed, Jeff replied in a low voice. "Always for you, babe!"

A shiver ran down Clay's spine, making it impossible to resist the urge to kiss Jeff. It was a chaste kiss, just a caress of their lips, slow and tender. They parted reluctantly and get in the car. Despite the low-pitched sound of the radio, the ride home was silent. Clay was still processing the fact that he nearly died in that accident and that both Hannah and Sheri were involved in the accident, but only Hannah chose to inform the police about the stop sign even if she did it too late. The more he thought about the accident, the more he found Sheri's attitude despicable. He thoroughly searched for a reason for her behaviour and easily came up with this conclusion: girls like Sheri are way too superficial and self-centred to think about the consequences of their actions, let alone to face said consequences.

Pushing that thought away, Clay decided to focus on something else. He watched outside, searching for anything that could distract him. On their way home, the couple came to a halt near Monet's. From his vantage point, Clay could see one of Jeff's teammates probably her on a date with a girl he didn't recognize. From the look in their eyes, Clay guessed it was the beginning of their relationship, they surely haven't experienced their first fight, but it was probably better that way. Before Jeff start the car again, Clay noticed the girl was wearing her boyfriend's jersey, did Jeff saw that too?

Glancing sideways, Clay noticed his boyfriend was acting weird. At the hospital, the athlete was cheerful and lively and now he was silent and tense. His grip on the wheel was so tight his knuckles whitened and his jaw was so clenched he could practically hear him greet his teeth. Clay waited for them to stop at a red light to put his hand on Jeff's, making him let go of the wheel to entwine their fingers.

"Jeff, look at me!" Clay begged.

Reluctantly, Jeff turned his head.

"It's ok, I'm ok."

Their eyes locked and Clay could see the fear in his boyfriend's eyes, the one that another accident might happen if he's not careful enough this time. Guiding their linked hands towards his lips, Clay kissed his delicately and gave it a squeeze hoping to convince him he had no reason to be so stressed. Unfortunately, he could read in Jeff's attitude that it was gonna take some time for him to relaxed a little bit.

The red light turned green and Jeff let go of Clay's hand to focus once again on the road.

_**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** _

Sitting on the edge of his bed, Clay looked at the clock and sighed, it was past midnight and he couldn't sleep. For the past hour, he kept checking the clock and whenever he did, it felt like just one minute passed. Time seemed to pass way too slowly like it was mocking him.

"You can't sleep either?" A voice came from the hallway.

"Think I slept too much at the hospital." Clay answered bitterly without looking.

Chuckling at this vain attempt to enlighten the atmosphere, Clay's dad took a few steps forward and sat next to him. "Thinking about Jeff?"*

Clay snorted. "That obvious?"

"You guys went through something terrible, it's going to take time to recover."

"It's not just about the accident," Clay answered in a low voice.

"What is it about then?" Matt asked, frowning. "Did you guys had another fight?"

Clay looked away, unsure of what to say he preferred to remain vague. "No, we didn't."

"Why do I feel like you're not happy with that statement?"

Sighing, the young Jensen turned a watery gaze towards his father. "Because I'm not! I hated it when we fought, but every time we did someone or something interrupted us!"

Knowing where this conversation was heading, Matt finished his son's sentence. "And it feels like you just hid the problem under the carpet instead of facing it and trying to fix it."

Instead of answering, Clay nodded and then looked down.

"Can I ask what this was about?"

Looking back up, Clay almost glared at his father who raised his hands and made his way to the door. Putting his hand on the doorknob, Matt stopped to look at his boy. "Jeff's not a coward, so I'm sure you'll face whatever problem you two have."

Before Clay could come up with something, Matt wished him goodnight and closed the door.

**_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_ **

The morning after, Clay woke up early. He knew Jeff promised him to give him a ride home until he was feeling better but he barely slept and was surprisingly tired of laying on his back, hoping for a few hours of sleep. He took his time to prepare for school, not only because he had plenty of time to do so but also because he didn't really want to go back to school. Having his parents, Jeff's parents and Jeff himself looking at him like he was made of glass was hard enough, but going back to school where everyone learned about what happened will be harder. Part of him wanted to pretend he wasn't feeling good and wanted to stay at home, but he was a terrible liar and Jeff or his parents would see through his lie.

The beeping of Jeff's car alerted Clay it was time to go. It was too late to call in sick.

The atmosphere in the car during the ride to school was the same as yesterday, although Jeff looked less tense driving, which was a small improvement in Clay's mind. They arrived on the parking lot and Clay could already feel everyone staring at them. Looking up, he could see them pointing him with their fingers or snickering just like they did the last time.

Getting out of the car, Clay immediately put his arms around himself, a defence mechanism. Jeff noticed his boyfriend's behaviour right away and got closer to him.

"Wait! Before going in, there's something we need to talk about."

Looking back between the students and Jeff, Clay feared he might understand where this conversation would head.

"You remember what happened that morning?"

Closing his eyes, Clay tried not to shiver as he remembered perfectly what happened. It was the morning before the accident, Jeff drove them to school and as soon as they arrived, Jeff's teammates arrived.

"That morning, I let Bryce and the other make fun of you. I didn't react! I should've said something! I should've protected you like any boyfriend would have done."

Sighing, Clay slowly opened his eyes, trying to contain the tears threatening to form. "We never made it official, and I know why now."

Jeff nodded, silently agreeing with him. "I was too scared of what others might think and I'm really sorry Clay."

Clenching his teeth, Clay fought hard the urge to cry and avoided Jeff's eyes.

After a few seconds of silence, the young athlete spoke. "I saw them too, you know."

"What?" Clay asked.

A small smile spread Jeff's lips as he thought back about what he saw. "Yesterday at Monet's, I saw them too! And I know now what to do."

Clay's confusion grew bigger. At first, he was certain Jeff tried to break up with him, but now it felt like the opposite.

Putting his bag down, Jeff took off his jersey before putting it around Clay's shoulders.

"What does that mean?" Clay asked, although he knew perfectly well what it meant, he just needed Jeff to say it out loud, to prove him he wasn't dreaming.

"It means I almost lost you twice in one day Clay Jensen. The first time when we fought over my lack of courage in front of my friends and the second time in that accident." Jeff paused. "I refuse to lose you again. This jersey is a message for everyone that you are mine and this time, I won't be afraid to claim it."

Clay hadn't noticed the tears until he felt them running down his cheeks. Taking a step forward, he dared to kiss his boyfriend in public, prouder than ever to have him in his life. Jeff returned his kiss with as much passion and love, feeling himself slowly coming back to life.

They parted when the bell rang, alerting them it was time to go. Looking up, they met the shocked expression of the student of Liberty but found out they couldn't care less. From now on, they had each other and with that knowledge, they knew they could overcome any obstacle.

**Author's Note:**

> Do not forget the little review, it's always nice to read, even if there are some things you didn't like. I'm here to improve so do not hesitate to share your impressions with me :)


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